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Four downs, four syllables

I’d like to say technology failed me. But the truth is, I didn’t notice that the fax machine had run out of paper. Even if I did, I may have ignored it because most faxes these days are unsolicited ads for a cruise or car insurance. This time, however, I missed a gem, a letter to the editor from Gunter Konold of Bodega Bay, intended for publication before the Super Bowl. It deserved a spot in the paper over the weekend, but I’ll share it now.

EDITOR: I love football.

The real football, the kind we used to play in the old country. Where we actually transported the ball with our foot. And where 11 normal-sized guys were in constant motion on the field.

Not like the “American football,” where 300-pound bruisers get spurts of energy, push and shove, then rest again and talk things over. Football? Ha! That game should be called armball, because that’s how they transport their oblong ball.

Their fans can’t even pronounce long syllable words: San-Fran-cisco Forty-Niners becomes Niners, and Candle-stick Park becomes the Stick.

So why the heck did they choose another four-syllable home, San-ta Cla-ra? They could have just gone to a short-name town, like Galt or Ross.

Now that I insulted 99.9 percent of my American friends, what time is the big game on Sunday?

Go, Niners, go!

GUNTER KONOLD

Bodega Bay

 

Alas, Sunday wasn’t a good day for the Niners. I’ll take one in the loser column too for missing this funny letter that should have gotten into the newspaper.

You can send letters to letters@pressdemocrat.com, use the link on the opinion page at pressdemocrat.com, mail them to P.O. Box 910, Santa Rosa 95402, or fax them to 521-5305. I’ll try to keep some paper in the machine.

– Jim Sweeney

 





4 Responses to “Four downs, four syllables”

  1. Follower says:

    I’ve tried very hard to get into “Footy” but a game that typically ends in a “nail biter” score of 1-0, I just don’t get it. (But then I don’t “get” Hockey either.)

    And trying to keep track of all the different leagues, players and Managers (coaches) constantly moving from one team to another… it’s just exhausting.

    Soccer is great game for a bunch of friends to get together at anytime and play. But we have Basketball for that.

    The intensity of watching the play clock tick down, waiting for that snap and watching a play unfold in an instant is exhilarating.

    As opposed to… “now they’re all running down to this end, now running back to that end.” For what seems like an eternity and then finally, someone actually tries to score but doesn’t.

    Now they run back to that end and run back to this end. No wonder Smart phones became popular in Europe before they did here. You have to have SOMETHING to do while waiting for a goal!

    From Liverpool to Lima, Footy is the most popular sport in the world and I just know I MUST be missing something.

    But I’ll take a good old American Football game over a “Friendly” any day!

  2. Reality Check says:

    Great letter thanks. I’d add, the “game” is no longer even about the game of football. It’s about the hoopla that overwhelms it: sports reporters’ analyses, cheerleaders, violence, half-time show, drugs, end-zone dance and, of course, commercials. The game has been diminished.

  3. michael koepf says:

    “A gem”? Further evidence that few opinions of serious or opposing comment have made it past the editorial censors at the Press Democrat.

  4. Nora Gonzales says:

    Thanks for another non-news story PD.