I’d like to say technology failed me. But the truth is, I didn’t notice that the fax machine had run out of paper. Even if I did, I may have ignored it because most faxes these days are unsolicited ads for a cruise or car insurance. This time, however, I missed a gem, a letter to the editor from Gunter Konold of Bodega Bay, intended for publication before the Super Bowl. It deserved a spot in the paper over the weekend, but I’ll share it now.
EDITOR: I love football.
The real football, the kind we used to play in the old country. Where we actually transported the ball with our foot. And where 11 normal-sized guys were in constant motion on the field.
Not like the “American football,” where 300-pound bruisers get spurts of energy, push and shove, then rest again and talk things over. Football? Ha! That game should be called armball, because that’s how they transport their oblong ball.
Their fans can’t even pronounce long syllable words: San-Fran-cisco Forty-Niners becomes Niners, and Candle-stick Park becomes the Stick.
So why the heck did they choose another four-syllable home, San-ta Cla-ra? They could have just gone to a short-name town, like Galt or Ross.
Now that I insulted 99.9 percent of my American friends, what time is the big game on Sunday?
Go, Niners, go!
Alas, Sunday wasn’t a good day for the Niners. I’ll take one in the loser column too for missing this funny letter that should have gotten into the newspaper.
You can send letters to firstname.lastname@example.org, use the link on the opinion page at pressdemocrat.com, mail them to P.O. Box 910, Santa Rosa 95402, or fax them to 521-5305. I’ll try to keep some paper in the machine.
– Jim Sweeney