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And the winners are . . .
“Think of it as lowering your debt ceiling.”
TEMPLE O. SMITH, Cloverdale
“We’ve decided your ‘fair share’ is 100 percent of what you earn.”
MICHAEL SHEEHAN, Rohnert Park
“The good news is now that we’ve knocked you out of the 1 percent, your taxes will be going down.”
DIANE NAYLOR, Annapolis
“We are looking forward to your contribution to our ‘Trillion Dollar Coin’ fund.”
RICHARD SMITH, Santa Rosa
“What’s in your wallet?”
DALE STOUT, Sebastopol
–O–
Every week, we’ll post a new cartoon on Watch Sonoma County and invite you to write the caption. Enter the contest by posting your caption below. Vote for your favorite by clicking “thumbs up” or “thumbs down” on each entry.
PD staff will select several winners and publish them every Friday on the Forum page in the Empire News section. Want a shot? Leave your real name and your email address for verification.
The cartoons are drawn by Gary Varvel, who has served as political cartoonist for the Indianapolis Star since 1994.
Click here to see last week’s winners
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You are correct Mr Norquist, you have been neutered.
Mr. Norquist, that is why Franklin D Roosevelt said, “Here is my principle: Taxes shall be levied according to ability to pay. That is the only American principle.”
Miss Jones can you bring in the “BIG” calculator.
I’ve got good news. You will be sharing a cell with Wesley Snipes
Mr. Norquist, do you remember the two Bush wars? That is why Thomas Paine once said, “War involves in its progress such a train of unforeseen circumstances that no human wisdom can calculate the end; it has but one thing certain, and that is to increase taxes.”
Mr. Norquist, I hear Russian President Vladimir Putin is granting citizenship to people who don’t like the tax rates in their own country. Maybe you should check it out.
You went to “Taxes R Us?” Seriously?!!
(Editor…I thought I submitted this caption a day or two ago…please disregard if you have it)
We are looking forward to your contribution to our,”Trillion Dollar Coin” fund!
Don’t worry, we only take all we can get.
I may be psychotic, but I’m nothing compared to the guy in the White House.
Mr. Norquist, that is why Franklin D. Roosevelt said during the Great Depression, “Here is my principle: Taxes shall be levied according to ability to pay. That is the only American principle.”
Mr Norquist, I hear Russian President Vladimir Putin is granting citizenship to people who don’t like the tax rates in their own country. Maybe you should check that out.
The bathroom is two doors down. Maybe you should visit it before my interrogation.
Your investment in the IRS will be used well. We need to cover all those debts the rich won’t pay for.
Don’t worry. Our bite is much worse than your bark.
I’m not allowed to pick on the big guys BUT you are fair game!
We don’t have the manpower to audit the big guys after Congress cut our budget but, hey, WE HAVE PLENTY OF TIME FOR YOU!
I agree that “I Rip-off Suckers” isn’t much of a slogan, but it seems to work for us.
Yes, but think about the benefits our government provides for you: roads, bridges, fuel grids, human rights protection, loans, grants, public education, unemployment insurance, Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, and a secure nation. Some you of these things you already use, others you may need in the future.
That is why Benjamin Franklin said, “In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.” Mr. Norquist.
I may be a hateful, heartless, vicious shark as you say, but I resent you calling me a “public servant.”
No Attorney? You’re begging for leniency?? Oh goodie!
We’re looking forward to your contribution to our,”Trillion Dollar Coin” fund!
Well yes, as a matter of fact, these hands on my desk are for you. We’d like them to be kept in your pockets at all times!
“I used to rob banks and swindle old ladies, now I work here.”
Remember the two wars George Bubble-U Bush started? Well, that is why Thomas Paine said, “War involves in its progress such a train of unforeseen circumstances that no human wisdom can calculate the end; it has but one thing certain, and that is to increase taxes.”, Mr. Norquist.
That is why Franklin D. Roosevelt said during the Great Depression, “Here is my principle: Taxes shall be levied according to ability to pay. That is the only American principle.”, Mr. Norquist.
That is why Benjamin Franklin said, “In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.”, Mr. Norquist.
You know what they say about death and taxes…and frankly, you don’t look so good!
We’ve decided your “fair share” is 100% of what you earn.
Turbotax? Seriously?!!
The bad news is you have been convicted for tax evasion. The good news is you will be sharing a cell with Wesley Snipes.
All the rumors you hear about the IRS being the scum of the earth are true. Heh heh.
We only audit 0.001% of the returns we receive. Don’t you feel lucky?
The IRS believes that death and taxes are more than just the two certainties of life. We consider them to be your menu of options. Choose carefully.
As Romney’s former CPA, you are perfectly qualified for our open job here in Fabrication Management.
But if we don’t keep raising your taxes, who’s going to pay for all the government waste and fraud?
How do I put this ……have you ever read the story
of Robin Hood and his Merry Men?
Don’t worry, the IRS can initiate a church tax inquiry audit only if a designated high-ranking IRS official, reasonably believes, based on a written statement of the facts and circumstances, that the organization: (a) may not qualify for the exemption; or (b) may not be paying tax on unrelated business or other taxable activity.
Relax, you’re a religious organization. Even though you collected millions, you own nothing. It’s holly government welfare.
Noooo I don’t have a fiscal cliff…You dooooooo.
“Whose got it better then I.R.S.? No one!
ARE YOU SITTING DOWN?
Our new slogan-I Rule Singularly……a real catchy cliff-hanger-eh?
Yeah, Right! Hahahahahah
Good Morning, Mr. Smith.
Now….how much did you say you earned last year?
Hand it over.
8888
“The only thing you have left for us to take are your family jewels.”
Legal representation won’t be necessary. I like to think of us as judge, jury, and executioner.
I’m sorry, Mr. Norquist, but your Church of the Taxpayer does not qualify as a tax exempt 501(c)(3) charitable organization.
Sorry, Mr. Romney. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints no longer qualifies as a tax exempt 501(c)(3) charitable organization due to excess political activity in attempting to influence campaigns and legislation.
Your refund has already been deposited in your off-shore account, Mr. Romney!
You see, we are your government and can manage your money better than you can. You give us your money, we decide how to spend it. Trust us, we know what we are doing.
Okay, Mr. Smith…..how much did you make last year?
Hand it over.
You see, the way it works is: you give us most of your paycheck and we process it, store it, regulate it and administrate it and then hand it out to those that need it most. Who knows, you might be one of the lucky ones.
And what do you figure is the minimum you and your family need to get by week to week? Cut that in half and give us the rest. Your government needs the money.
What’s in your wallet?
What a misunderstanding.
So you’re a lawyer? I like you already.
“As George Harrison sang, ‘There’s one for you, 19 for me. Cuz I’m the Taxman.’”
You vill pay vhat ve demand, and you will like it, cuz ve know vhere you live.
See these pearly whites? You pretty much paid for them!
It stands for Irritable Republican Syndrome.
But you’re not allowed to put bananas in the refrigerator.
So who’s your daddy now?!!
“Yes, I.R.S. does stand for Ignorant, Rude, and Sadistic.
What you gonna do about it, Mr. Taxpayer?”
I don’t work for the government. I’m Irving Ronald Smithers but I’d be happy to take your money.
The good news is now that we’ve knocked you out of the 1 percent, your taxes will be going down.
Well Mr. Jones. You remember the 77 cents you owed us in 77′. Now your tax and penalties are $35.000 you NOW owe the irs! Heh heh
Think of it as lowering your debt ceiling.
My dear Mr. Plank, heh heh heh, we never
said our “MIDDLE” name was SERVICE!
What do you mean this is your office son? No be a good boy and be quiet while big business shows you how to rewrite the tax codes.
So Mr. IRS big shot. You raised the tax rates on my bracket, now with all the loopholes let’s see you collect any revenue from me! Bwahahahaha!
“Try to relax. We don’t use thumbscrews and cattle prods…..much.
Would you like to pawn your house, or sell it?
“Oh, as far as your audit goes? Just think of it as ‘I Run the Show’.”
“Relax, I work for the Government, I’m here to help you!”
Sorry, the ‘Dead Beat Billionaire Exemption’ was eliminated in the Fiscal Cliff deal. Pay up!
Better get the kids and grandkids together to vote to increase your debt limit.
Yes, I know you were wealthy, but let me be the first
to welcome you to the expanding middle class.
Mr. Johnson we found a discrepancy, you failed to report $323.10 you earned from a garage sale in 1989, with interest and penaltys you owe the IRS $143,201.03!
So, which arm and leg shall we start with?
” Can you prove that your two dependents Fido, and Lucky, are still living at home?”
Over $20,000, you say? Obama says we get it all.
” Imagine this, I once heard of a guy that saw the grim reaper at his door and said, ” thank goodness I thought you were from the I.R.S.”.”
” I used to work for the C.I.A., I was in charge of water boarding.”
Trust me, this will be EZ.
“You would be amazed how we can get blood from a turnip.”
“We’d love to lend you a hand but in addition to arms and legs we take hands too. Bwahahaha.”
Says here you’re part of a Constitutional study group, is that true?