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The Last Word: Week of Jan. 13

And the winners are . . .

“Think of it as lowering your debt ceiling.”
TEMPLE O. SMITH, Cloverdale

“We’ve decided your ‘fair share’ is 100 percent of what you earn.”
MICHAEL SHEEHAN, Rohnert Park

“The good news is now that we’ve knocked you out of the 1 percent, your taxes will be going down.”
DIANE NAYLOR, Annapolis

“We are looking forward to your contribution to our ‘Trillion Dollar Coin’ fund.”
RICHARD SMITH, Santa Rosa

“What’s in your wallet?”
DALE STOUT, Sebastopol

–O–

Every week, we’ll post a new cartoon on Watch Sonoma County and invite you to write the caption. Enter the contest by posting your caption below. Vote for your favorite by clicking “thumbs up” or “thumbs down” on each entry.

PD staff will select several winners and publish them every Friday on the Forum page in the Empire News section. Want a shot? Leave your real name and your email address for verification.

The cartoons are drawn by Gary Varvel, who has served as political cartoonist for the Indianapolis Star since 1994.

Click here to see last week’s winners





90 Responses to “The Last Word: Week of Jan. 13”

  1. Dan Drummond Sr says:

    You are correct Mr Norquist, you have been neutered.

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  2. Dan Drummond Sr says:

    Mr. Norquist, that is why Franklin D Roosevelt said, “Here is my principle: Taxes shall be levied according to ability to pay. That is the only American principle.”

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  3. Kellie Ambrose says:

    Miss Jones can you bring in the “BIG” calculator.

    Thumb up 3 Thumb down 1

  4. Steven Powles says:

    I’ve got good news. You will be sharing a cell with Wesley Snipes

    Thumb up 3 Thumb down 4

  5. Dan Drummond Sr says:

    Mr. Norquist, do you remember the two Bush wars? That is why Thomas Paine once said, “War involves in its progress such a train of unforeseen circumstances that no human wisdom can calculate the end; it has but one thing certain, and that is to increase taxes.”

    Thumb up 1 Thumb down 6

  6. Dan Drummond Sr says:

    Mr. Norquist, I hear Russian President Vladimir Putin is granting citizenship to people who don’t like the tax rates in their own country. Maybe you should check it out.

    Thumb up 2 Thumb down 4

  7. richard smith says:

    You went to “Taxes R Us?” Seriously?!!

    Thumb up 2 Thumb down 5

  8. richard smith says:

    (Editor…I thought I submitted this caption a day or two ago…please disregard if you have it)

    We are looking forward to your contribution to our,”Trillion Dollar Coin” fund!

    Thumb up 3 Thumb down 5

  9. Julie Ambrose says:

    Don’t worry, we only take all we can get.

    Thumb up 3 Thumb down 5

  10. Jean Anderson says:

    I may be psychotic, but I’m nothing compared to the guy in the White House.

    Thumb up 1 Thumb down 12

  11. Dan Drummond Sr says:

    Mr. Norquist, that is why Franklin D. Roosevelt said during the Great Depression, “Here is my principle: Taxes shall be levied according to ability to pay. That is the only American principle.”

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  12. Dan Drummond Sr says:

    Mr Norquist, I hear Russian President Vladimir Putin is granting citizenship to people who don’t like the tax rates in their own country. Maybe you should check that out.

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  13. MOCKINGBIRD says:

    The bathroom is two doors down. Maybe you should visit it before my interrogation.

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  14. MOCKINGBIRD says:

    Your investment in the IRS will be used well. We need to cover all those debts the rich won’t pay for.

    Thumb up 2 Thumb down 1

  15. MOCKINGBIRD says:

    Don’t worry. Our bite is much worse than your bark.

    Thumb up 1 Thumb down 10

  16. MOCKINGBIRD says:

    I’m not allowed to pick on the big guys BUT you are fair game!

    Thumb up 2 Thumb down 10

  17. MOCKINGBIRD says:

    We don’t have the manpower to audit the big guys after Congress cut our budget but, hey, WE HAVE PLENTY OF TIME FOR YOU!

    Thumb up 1 Thumb down 11

  18. Michael Sheehan says:

    I agree that “I Rip-off Suckers” isn’t much of a slogan, but it seems to work for us.

    Thumb up 1 Thumb down 10

  19. Dan Drummond Sr says:

    Yes, but think about the benefits our government provides for you: roads, bridges, fuel grids, human rights protection, loans, grants, public education, unemployment insurance, Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, and a secure nation. Some you of these things you already use, others you may need in the future.

    Thumb up 1 Thumb down 11

  20. Dan Drummond Sr says:

    That is why Benjamin Franklin said, “In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.” Mr. Norquist.

    Thumb up 1 Thumb down 11

  21. Jean Anderson says:

    I may be a hateful, heartless, vicious shark as you say, but I resent you calling me a “public servant.”

    Thumb up 2 Thumb down 10

  22. Trey Dunia says:

    No Attorney? You’re begging for leniency?? Oh goodie!

    Thumb up 4 Thumb down 11

  23. richard smith says:

    We’re looking forward to your contribution to our,”Trillion Dollar Coin” fund!

    Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

  24. Mark Berube says:

    Well yes, as a matter of fact, these hands on my desk are for you. We’d like them to be kept in your pockets at all times!

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 3

  25. Jean Anderson says:

    “I used to rob banks and swindle old ladies, now I work here.”

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 3

  26. Dan Drummond Sr says:

    Remember the two wars George Bubble-U Bush started? Well, that is why Thomas Paine said, “War involves in its progress such a train of unforeseen circumstances that no human wisdom can calculate the end; it has but one thing certain, and that is to increase taxes.”, Mr. Norquist.

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  27. Dan Drummond Sr says:

    That is why Franklin D. Roosevelt said during the Great Depression, “Here is my principle: Taxes shall be levied according to ability to pay. That is the only American principle.”, Mr. Norquist.

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  28. Dan Drummond Sr says:

    That is why Benjamin Franklin said, “In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.”, Mr. Norquist.

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  29. richard smith says:

    You know what they say about death and taxes…and frankly, you don’t look so good!

    Thumb up 6 Thumb down 12

  30. Michael Sheehan says:

    We’ve decided your “fair share” is 100% of what you earn.

    Thumb up 3 Thumb down 12

  31. richard smith says:

    Turbotax? Seriously?!!

    Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

  32. Steven Powles says:

    The bad news is you have been convicted for tax evasion. The good news is you will be sharing a cell with Wesley Snipes.

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  33. m whitt says:

    All the rumors you hear about the IRS being the scum of the earth are true. Heh heh.

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  34. Steven Powles says:

    We only audit 0.001% of the returns we receive. Don’t you feel lucky?

    Thumb up 5 Thumb down 14

  35. Mark Bowman says:

    The IRS believes that death and taxes are more than just the two certainties of life. We consider them to be your menu of options. Choose carefully.

    Thumb up 5 Thumb down 13

  36. Dolly Fay says:

    As Romney’s former CPA, you are perfectly qualified for our open job here in Fabrication Management.

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  37. Michael Sheehan says:

    But if we don’t keep raising your taxes, who’s going to pay for all the government waste and fraud?

    Thumb up 5 Thumb down 13

  38. Bob Charbonnier says:

    How do I put this ……have you ever read the story
    of Robin Hood and his Merry Men?

    Thumb up 2 Thumb down 14

  39. Dan Drummond Sr says:

    Don’t worry, the IRS can initiate a church tax inquiry audit only if a designated high-ranking IRS official, reasonably believes, based on a written statement of the facts and circumstances, that the organization: (a) may not qualify for the exemption; or (b) may not be paying tax on unrelated business or other taxable activity.

    Thumb up 1 Thumb down 16

  40. Dan Drummond Sr says:

    Relax, you’re a religious organization. Even though you collected millions, you own nothing. It’s holly government welfare.

    Thumb up 3 Thumb down 15

  41. buster jones says:

    Noooo I don’t have a fiscal cliff…You dooooooo.

    Thumb up 6 Thumb down 11

  42. Al Cohen says:

    “Whose got it better then I.R.S.? No one!

    Thumb up 6 Thumb down 11

  43. John Claeys says:

    ARE YOU SITTING DOWN?

    Thumb up 1 Thumb down 13

  44. Our new slogan-I Rule Singularly……a real catchy cliff-hanger-eh?

    Thumb up 2 Thumb down 13

  45. Victoria in Santa Rosa says:

    Yeah, Right! Hahahahahah

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 14

  46. Vickie Vaughan-Skance says:

    Good Morning, Mr. Smith.

    Now….how much did you say you earned last year?

    Hand it over.

    Thumb up 4 Thumb down 12

  47. John Barry says:

    8888

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 13

  48. John Gianfermi says:

    “The only thing you have left for us to take are your family jewels.”

    Thumb up 7 Thumb down 10

  49. Jeff Allee says:

    Legal representation won’t be necessary. I like to think of us as judge, jury, and executioner.

    Thumb up 7 Thumb down 11

  50. Dan Drummond Sr says:

    I’m sorry, Mr. Norquist, but your Church of the Taxpayer does not qualify as a tax exempt 501(c)(3) charitable organization.

    Thumb up 4 Thumb down 13

  51. Dan Drummond Sr says:

    Sorry, Mr. Romney. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints no longer qualifies as a tax exempt 501(c)(3) charitable organization due to excess political activity in attempting to influence campaigns and legislation.

    Thumb up 2 Thumb down 17

  52. Dan Drummond Sr says:

    Your refund has already been deposited in your off-shore account, Mr. Romney!

    Thumb up 2 Thumb down 16

  53. Roger Steinhorst says:

    You see, we are your government and can manage your money better than you can. You give us your money, we decide how to spend it. Trust us, we know what we are doing.

    Thumb up 2 Thumb down 13

  54. Vickie Vaughan-Skance says:

    Okay, Mr. Smith…..how much did you make last year?
    Hand it over.

    Thumb up 1 Thumb down 13

  55. Roger Steinhorst says:

    You see, the way it works is: you give us most of your paycheck and we process it, store it, regulate it and administrate it and then hand it out to those that need it most. Who knows, you might be one of the lucky ones.

    Thumb up 4 Thumb down 14

  56. Roger Steinhorst says:

    And what do you figure is the minimum you and your family need to get by week to week? Cut that in half and give us the rest. Your government needs the money.

    Thumb up 1 Thumb down 13

  57. Dale Stout says:

    What’s in your wallet?

    Thumb up 5 Thumb down 10

  58. Dale Stout says:

    What a misunderstanding.

    Thumb up 1 Thumb down 13

  59. Dale Stout says:

    So you’re a lawyer? I like you already.

    Thumb up 2 Thumb down 14

  60. Jean Anderson says:

    “As George Harrison sang, ‘There’s one for you, 19 for me. Cuz I’m the Taxman.’”

    Thumb up 4 Thumb down 12

  61. Jean Anderson says:

    You vill pay vhat ve demand, and you will like it, cuz ve know vhere you live.

    Thumb up 3 Thumb down 15

  62. richard smith says:

    See these pearly whites? You pretty much paid for them!

    Thumb up 3 Thumb down 11

  63. Steven Powles says:

    It stands for Irritable Republican Syndrome.

    Thumb up 5 Thumb down 12

  64. Janet Russell says:

    But you’re not allowed to put bananas in the refrigerator.

    Thumb up 1 Thumb down 15

  65. richard smith says:

    So who’s your daddy now?!!

    Thumb up 2 Thumb down 11

  66. Michael Sheehan says:

    “Yes, I.R.S. does stand for Ignorant, Rude, and Sadistic.
    What you gonna do about it, Mr. Taxpayer?”

    Thumb up 5 Thumb down 12

  67. Brian Narelle says:

    I don’t work for the government. I’m Irving Ronald Smithers but I’d be happy to take your money.

    Thumb up 3 Thumb down 14

  68. Diane Naylor says:

    The good news is now that we’ve knocked you out of the 1 percent, your taxes will be going down.

    Thumb up 6 Thumb down 12

  69. Lee Stophlet says:

    Well Mr. Jones. You remember the 77 cents you owed us in 77′. Now your tax and penalties are $35.000 you NOW owe the irs! Heh heh

    Thumb up 2 Thumb down 13

  70. Temple O. Smith says:

    Think of it as lowering your debt ceiling.

    Thumb up 6 Thumb down 9

  71. John Claeys says:

    My dear Mr. Plank, heh heh heh, we never
    said our “MIDDLE” name was SERVICE!

    Thumb up 1 Thumb down 14

  72. Julius Orth says:

    What do you mean this is your office son? No be a good boy and be quiet while big business shows you how to rewrite the tax codes.

    Thumb up 3 Thumb down 13

  73. Julius Orth says:

    So Mr. IRS big shot. You raised the tax rates on my bracket, now with all the loopholes let’s see you collect any revenue from me! Bwahahahaha!

    Thumb up 2 Thumb down 12

  74. Pete Foppiano says:

    “Try to relax. We don’t use thumbscrews and cattle prods…..much.

    Thumb up 4 Thumb down 12

  75. Dale Stout says:

    Would you like to pawn your house, or sell it?

    Thumb up 3 Thumb down 14

  76. Reid Stinnett says:

    “Oh, as far as your audit goes? Just think of it as ‘I Run the Show’.”

    Thumb up 1 Thumb down 13

  77. Lloyd Velasquez says:

    “Relax, I work for the Government, I’m here to help you!”

    Thumb up 2 Thumb down 13

  78. Patrick Nagel says:

    Sorry, the ‘Dead Beat Billionaire Exemption’ was eliminated in the Fiscal Cliff deal. Pay up!

    Thumb up 2 Thumb down 14

  79. Ralph Holden, Healdsburg says:

    Better get the kids and grandkids together to vote to increase your debt limit.

    Thumb up 1 Thumb down 13

  80. Bob Charbonnier says:

    Yes, I know you were wealthy, but let me be the first
    to welcome you to the expanding middle class.

    Thumb up 4 Thumb down 12

  81. Mike Cramer says:

    Mr. Johnson we found a discrepancy, you failed to report $323.10 you earned from a garage sale in 1989, with interest and penaltys you owe the IRS $143,201.03!

    Thumb up 5 Thumb down 12

  82. Sean Walling says:

    So, which arm and leg shall we start with?

    Thumb up 3 Thumb down 12

  83. Al Cohen says:

    ” Can you prove that your two dependents Fido, and Lucky, are still living at home?”

    Thumb up 5 Thumb down 10

  84. Joe in N Calif says:

    Over $20,000, you say? Obama says we get it all.

    Thumb up 4 Thumb down 14

  85. Al Cohen says:

    ” Imagine this, I once heard of a guy that saw the grim reaper at his door and said, ” thank goodness I thought you were from the I.R.S.”.”

    Thumb up 5 Thumb down 10

  86. Al Cohen says:

    ” I used to work for the C.I.A., I was in charge of water boarding.”

    Thumb up 4 Thumb down 10

  87. Dale Stout says:

    Trust me, this will be EZ.

    Thumb up 1 Thumb down 13

  88. Al Cohen says:

    “You would be amazed how we can get blood from a turnip.”

    Thumb up 5 Thumb down 10

  89. Mark Berube says:

    “We’d love to lend you a hand but in addition to arms and legs we take hands too. Bwahahaha.”

    Thumb up 5 Thumb down 12

  90. James Bennett says:

    Says here you’re part of a Constitutional study group, is that true?

    Thumb up 8 Thumb down 14

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